User blog:ThaChompyLeader/Remodeled Hunters Draft (Prologue + Other Chapters)

Yep, I'm finally doing it, guys.

I'm finally tackling this beast.

But first, I want to do something a little different - I'll write the whole story out here as a draft, which I would appreciate people read and help me to revise, before I put it in as a page. None of the Hunters 'books' were editted and therefore are pretty crappy, and I'm don't have the energy to revise something nearly 3 years old.

As a pre-warning, this redone Hunters will be a little more violent (not super bloody or gorey, of course), but it won't be descriptive, just a bit more realistic. Such as humans actually getting hurt for once, lol

I appreciate all and any feedback, as long as it is constructive (if it is criticism) and helpful (ideas/criticism). Things, of course, will change as I write this, so nothing is final. Hopefully, these remade Hunters stories end up being much better than their originals, which is my main goal here. Time to dust off my keyboard and get back into writer's mode...

Prologue Draft #1
It was a bad month for the town of Caspernal, and it was just about to get worse.

"I have had enough of this tyranny," A skeleton leaned against a tall tree, shrouded by the shadows of the moonless night. Though he had no flesh or muscle to express much emotion, it was clear to his friends around him that he was angry, as he clenched his jaw very tightly. "We should just storm the place and end it now, while they're all asleep."

"That's not very smart," An old creeper next to him rumbled, voice cracked with age. "Their Iron Golem will tear us apart while they're this active, even at such a night like this."

The skeleton scoffed.

"Says the puff," A younger creeper hissed at the older one. A ripple of mild shock passed through the group of monsters. To this insult, however, the elder did not respond.

A zombie moaned. "So are we just going to wait out this night, like all the others?"

"We have to wait for the right time," The elder creeper spoke with patience. "But tonight, we shall go."

"Mios, we've been waiting for forever!

"Just a little longer."

Silence descended upon the group. The soft hum of crickets sounded from above a tree nearby, filling the air with a faint, whispy melody. An hour ticked by, then another. The thumping feet of an Iron Golem was present during those long hours, until finally it ceased. Other large groups of monsters shuffled on their feet quietly, slightly separated from the others, anticipation crawling upon them like a slippery snake.

Mios nodded and began silently creeping out into the open in the direction of the village. The others soon followed. The grass hardly made a sound, though the skeleton was having trouble masking the soft clacking of his bones. The other groups stayed put. This plan had to go perfectly.

They arrived at the nearest house and pressed against the wall. Sounds of snoring echoed from inside. Mios stalked across the wall, then peeked around the corner.

A huge Iron Golem, battered and damaged from battles long ago, stood with its back facing the house. Mios quickly ducked his head back around to the safety of the house and silently motioned the others that the Iron Golem was present. His worn heart steadily rose in beat from the adrenaline of their expedition.

The door to the house was on the wall on the other side, though reaching it would be difficult without alerting the Iron Golem. The skeleton's hands were shaking, both tightly wrapped around his tattered bow.

Mios nodded. The skeleton silently drew back an arrow. He let go.

A soft thwump echoed, quickly proceeded by the sudden shuffling of metal feet and a pained groan. The skeleton exhaled sharply, then stood out in the open, shooting it again.

The arrow made its mark in the back of the golem's head. The Golem turned around, staring at the skeleton for a brief second, before roaring and charging.

The skeleton suddely screeched, startling the other monsters, and fell to the ground. An arrow was lodged in the back of his skull. Then another flew through the air, nearly striking the zombie.

A human stood in the forest not twenty yards behind, flashing purple bow drawn, another arrow about to fire.

The monsters scattered, confused by this new threat. The human shot arrow after arrow, many of them making their mark. The zombie toppled over with a scream after being struck in the chest. Mios tripped after getting shot in the foot. The Iron Golem chased around the younger creeper. The other groups of monsters, concealed by the shadows, grew panicked, as they were not expecting this man to appear and disrupt the plans.

The plan aborted. The groups screamed and flew out of the forest like maniacs, determined to destroy. The human shot with amazing accuracy and speed, downing many of them. A few creepers exploded, rudely awakening the villagers inside their homes.

The monsters that had avoided the piercing projectiles of the man began to charge him, furious. The man took out a sword and began to engage in combat. An arrow from a skeleton struck his shoulder, though he ignored the stabbing pain and fought on, clearly very experienced in the art of fighting.

Then the flash of an unknown object blitzed through the landscape.

No one could quite accurately describe what it was. Some thought it was lightning, though there was no storm. Others thought it was a meteor, though there was no crater. The object moved so fast, had anyone blinked, they would miss it.

But there it was, and there it wasn't, and there the pain of sudden wounds erupted in the man's back.

Swiveling his head around, befuddled by this new threat, he struggled to comprehend the dark blur that flashed before his eyes. The blur suddenly vanished, and he heard arrows whizzing through the air. One of them struck him in the leg, while he managed to avoid the others.

All the monsters hesitated for a moment before focusing their attention on the villagers that started spilling out into the town square.

Now it was the man's turn to panic. He struggled to shoot the monsters that tried attacking the citizens while at the same time defending himself from this...this thing. This thing he could never see, as when he tried, it would vanish just as quickly.

The Iron Golem swatted monsters away left and right as quickly as it could, but more monsters were spilling out into the commotion, alerted by all the nosie. It was growing to be too much.

The man heard a deep-throated shout. He felt hope flood him as he saw other humans, friends that lived by him, spill out into the village. They fought immediately, taking on all the nearby monsters full-force. The roar of battle rose into the air, along with the explosions of creepers and the mournful cries and wails of the dying. It was a terrible sound to behold.

The blur seemed to notice the new humans. It began to shoot at them as well, flashing to shoot once, then flashing again to shoot another person, then again and again. However, it was imposssible to make out what it was.

The cry of Mios rose into the air, greatly pained, as he fell to the ground unable to rise again right in front of a child villager.

The friends of the man started huddling in one group, clashing with the monsters, forming a tight circle around the citizens of Caspernal. Arrows started to appear on their legs and arms and shoulders, but there was no time to treat any wounds. One of them shot an arrow at the blur, which had, amazingly, made its mark. The blur vanished.

He sighed with momentary relief, then rushed over to a house, where several angry zombies were pounding on the doors. He kicked one of them in the head, sending the others toppling over. He finished them with a quick flick of his sword, peeking inside. He made sure that the villager inside was okay before leaving to the next door.

He felt a searing pain in his back as a zombie sliced him with an iron sword. Yelling, the man striked, knocking the zombie unconscious, before rushing into the house closest to him.

His head throbbed and his heart refused to beat any slower than light speed. Leaning against the wall, checking for monsters outside, he blinked the weariness of sleep deprivation out of him and turned around, looking for a place to sit.

A man with short, shaggy black hair sat on the bed, holding the battered, unmoving body of one of the man's friends as if it was the most important thing that had happened in his life.

The human immediately drew his sword, heart skipping a beat. "Who are you?" He demanded immediately.

The person did not speak. In fact, he didn't seem to even hear him. The man slowly approached him, sword drawn and held out in front of him. "Who are you?" He spoke louder this time, lightly resting the tip of the sword on the mysterious man's head.

"I killed him," he mumbled, voice hoarse. He looked up at the human, facial features obscured by a mask, though his eyes were visible.

Orange eyes.

The human had a bad feeling that this was the person that was fighting him earlier. His hands trembled.

As if a sudden realization came upon him, the person stood up, laying the human's friend down on the bed, and promptly vanished.

Pounding erupted on the doors. The man turned around, shoving the confusing thought of this encounter in the back of his head. He burst through, striking at the zombies.

The battle was close to being over. Some stragglers started to run away, afraid that they too would lose their lives. The man's remaining friends shouted in triumph, while the villagers all relaxed a bit.

The man sheathed his sword and looked around. Many monsters were lying on the ground, limp and lifeless. Thankfully, none of the villagers seemed to be very hurt, and none dead. His friends began to relax some as well, though still alert to any possible stragglers.

The little creeper, horrified by all the bodies of his friends, scampered away before anyone else could see him. Almost nobody he personally knew survived this senseless slaughter. The cries of the men reverberated in his head.

Never again would he experience this.

BAGGGHHHH THIS FIGHT SCENE IS SO LONG.

Please post any errors, ideas, or feedback in the comments. I literally just wrote this off the top of my head, so it's probably kinda bleh and it will change soon.