User blog:Dialgaofpower/And now, a rant about Pokemon GO.


 * deeeeeeeep breeeaaaaath*

This game pretty much looks at the source material, and has a Machoke Wake-up-slap it across the face until it runs out of PP! That, or until it runs out of HP due to getting Wake-up-slapped across the face at least 5 times, causing it to faint!

First of all, let's talk about the TEAM SYSTEM. Each team is modeled after Articuno, Zapdos and Moltres, and they alone can't be caught ingame because they're pretty much the logo for each team, which is already a problem. Remember how kids can supposedly cram legendary, godlike entities into a ball, once per ball? WELL, that made you feel SPECIAL AND COOL! When the game MADE you catch Reshiram/Zekrom and Xerneas/Yveltal, it was cool, mainly because you now had one of the most powerful pokemon in the game by your side and could essentially curbstomb Lysandre in XY! By the way, it's pretty much his exact same team only his Gyarados Mega-Evolves, which only lets you put into perspective how freaking awesome these guys are. Yep, you just swept the boss of Team Flare with a single Pokemon!

This game however, doesn't let you catch ANY of the 5 Kanto legendaries! (yeah, it's still in the Gen 1 stage.) As well as Ditto, but it can only learn Transform, which I would imagine to be pretty tough to code in, so it's justified with Ditto. Now let me bring up my next point; Pokemon power and Pokemon candy. In essence, a Pokemon's power is based on its Combat Power. Pretty mindblowing crap, I know. You wanna know how you raise a Pokemon's power? Evolution? Well, yeah, that's pretty much what Pokemon DO when they get strong enough, thus leading to more power. That's ONE consistency with the games, but one of the few.

The other way is by what exactly? LEVELING UP!? Good ARCEUS, you STINK at this thing! You do that via Stardust, which you get from catching Pokemon, and POKEMON CANDY, which you get from catching Pokemon. As well as transfering them, which you get even MORE candy for. That sounds like something Team Rocket would do, and aren't Team Rocket the BAD GUYS in generations 1 and 2? Plus, that ruins the theming of friendship between trainer and Pokemon! I swear, when I go up against the first boss in Pokemon Moon, whether it be Totem Raticate or, UB-01, or TAPU FREAKING KOKO, I'm gonna contemplate selling my weaker Pokemon for candy that will make 'em stronger.

That's another thing; Candies. Each candy is catered to a specific line of Pokemon. In base four, if you catch a Squirtle, Wartortle, or Blastoise, you get some Squirtle candy. And if you release it, you get MORE Squirtle candy. In essence, if you want your starter to be super powerful, you need to find a bunch more of that starter, causing you to find even STRONGER versions of your starter, who you will most likely release to power up the strongest of your starter that you find. Now repeat this process for almost EVERY Pokemon, and you can see how dumb it is. What's wrong with Leveling Up your Pokemon or actually keeping them on you, or, I dunno, ACTUALLY BEING MORE LIKE THE SOURCE MATERIAL?

Speaking of the source material being butchered, let's talk about capturing Pokemon. It's your standard stuff, toss a ball at it, make sure it doesn't miss, and pray to Arceus that it stays the crap in there, but there's also the chance of YOUR POKE BALL SOMETIMES WILL OBUNCE OFF THE POKEMON DUE TO THE POKEMON COUNTERING IT OR DODGING IT OR YOU NOT GETTING THE RIGHT AREA! Plus, you can't send out one of your own Pokemon to weaken it, LIKE IN THE ORIGINAL GAMES. Plus, whatever happened to the whole "Pokemon attack humans who venture out into wild grass" deal? Where has THAT gone?

Now we move on to one of my least favorite aspects of this game; the BATTLING. Good Arceus, the Battling. I find it a good concept that you can go to certian places and they will SOMETIMES be gyms, but the battling was done HORRIBLY wrong. You basically have to spam your pokemon's Primary move by hitting the screen with your finger, but ou can also make your Pokemon dodge attacks by swiping on the screen. Also there are secondary moves but those take forever to use. The Super Effective multiplier is veeery low, meaning there's even LESS strategy. Plus, if you're at a gym, you most likely are away from your internet and are running on 4G LTE. In other words, depending on how the iternet feels, you will either win or lose. That, ladies and gentlemen, is why I hate how they didn't use THE ORIGINAL FORMULA. Also only the pokemon's base attack/special attack and base defense/special defense matter pretty much.

Now on to my final point, Eggs. You need Incubators. ...''WHY? ''Whatever happened to just walking around with the egg until it hatched? Is that so criminal these days? Plus, unless you're using an Infinity incubator, those incubators break for no apparent reason.

In conclusion, Pokemon GO pretty much dodges everything that the original set. Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta find a Pokemon with Cloud Nine as its ability, as this thunderstorm is driving me nuts.